A roller coaster is typically the biggest investment any park will make. Therefore, it seems reasonable that parks would put some time and consideration into picking the best possible name that’s catchy, memorable, and in a lot of cases describes the ride.
And then there’s some that fail at some or all of those things. I’ve selected a few of what I would call the best of the worst coaster names. I’ve split it into two sections—the west and the east. Asia has a plethora of hilarious names, but a lot of that can be chalked up to poor translation. The ones in Europe and America (mostly the US!) have no excuse.
Western Parks
Roller Coaster, New York New York Hotel & Casino, Nevada
Courtesy of Christopher Sladky, http://www.gallery.fulllaunch.com.
There are lots of coasters imaginatively named ‘Coaster.’ But this one makes the list for the simple fact that they changed the ride’s name from something good to something entirely bland and generic. Manhattan Express was a great name for a poor coaster. Now, I suppose, the name matches the ride.
Wild Eagle, Dollywood, Tennessee
‘Eagle’ might have been too plain, but Wild Eagle seems redundant. After all, they aren’t going to name it ‘Domesticated Eagle.’ My general assumption is that this eagle is already free. You don’t need to tell me again.
Cornball Express, Indiana Beach, Indiana
Perhaps some Indiana people can enlighten me on what exactly a ‘cornball’ is. I feel like there would be very few responses that could redeem this name. Thankfully, the coaster does that on its own, being the best ride at Indiana Beach.
Montezooma’s Revenge, Knotts Berry Farm, California
Courtesy of Christopher Sladky, http://www.gallery.fulllaunch.com.
It’s probably not the best of practices to name a coaster the same thing as a slang term for diarrhea. There’s also an Aztec ruler out there that’s pretty upset… since apparently he’s out for revenge. Maybe it’s just me, but revenge seems less effective when the instrument is a source of fun.
Hundeprutterutchebane, Bon Bon Land, Denmark
The full disclosure on this one is that I actually love the name. I think it’s fantastic *because* it’s strange. Actually, all of Bon Bon Land is strange—check it out sometime. A Danish candymaker started the park and themed some of the rides after the candies the company made—like the Hundeprutter, a dog turd shaped treat. And yes, riders on the coaster do get farted on courtesy of a little speaker inside a dog house prop. Keep it classy, Denmark.
Die! Wilde Maus, Serengeti Park, Germany
For anyone who speaks German, this makes perfect sense to you. Essentially, it’s saying ‘The’ Wild Mouse with an emphasis on ‘the’ as that specific ride. But it’s the American in me that laughs at the sign that puts such emphasis on the park’s obvious dislike of this rodent.
Bizarro, Six Flags New England, Massachusetts & Six Flags Great Adventure, New Jersey
In 2009, Six Flags renamed Medusa at SF Great Adventure and Superman at SF New England as ‘Bizarro’. These were both incredibly popular rides, but for some reason Six Flags decided to retheme them purple and blue, add some cheap effects, and rename them after an obscure comic book character. The only thing bizarre here is the theme choice [yes, that was a bad joke—please laugh a little!]
Cheetah Hunt, Busch Gardens Tampa, Florida
Turns out that 120 minute wait was actually 4 hours!
When the coaster was being built, all the rumors for the ride pointed to the name as Cheetaka. I don’t know what a Cheetaka is, but at least it sounds cool. Cheetah Hunt just makes you wonder if you’re the one hunting the cheetahs…
Colorado Adventure: The Michael Jackson Thrill Ride, Phatasialand, Germany
Right off the bat this is a concerning name for a family coaster. But beyond that, the ride seemingly has nothing to do with Michael Jackson aside from the little sign with the ride’s name at the entrance. It’s just your standard highly themed mine train coaster… no King of Pop here.
Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit, Universal Studios, Florida
“Are you ready to rock out making music video history?” So says the safety spiel before the ride. If the general theme of making a music video wasn’t confusing enough, the name might be even worse. It’s like they threw some action words together that sounded intense. By that approach we could just have easily seen Hollywood Nitro, Flash, Thriller.
Gotham City Gauntlet Escape from Arkham Asylum, Six Flags New England, Massachusetts
Lastly for the western parks it’s back to SF New England for what might be the longest coaster name out there. They picked a decidedly average coaster for a name that tries to describe everything in the Batman universe at once. As an aside, this is the only case I know of where a park bought a coaster without proper planning permission, had to take down the building and sell the coaster, and then bought a used one and opened it up a 3 years later.
Asian (Eastern) Parks
I’m sure most of these coasters are just mistranslations, but some are too amusing to pass up.
Family Banana Coaster, Yokohama Cosmoworld, Japan
I wonder why bananas over other fruits?
Sky Scrapper, World Joyland, China
I suppose we didn’t need the sky anyways.
High Altitude Rolling Sliding Coaster, Window of the World, China
This would be better if it was called High Altitude Bumping Bruising Coaster. Just look at those transitions..
Hand Roller Coaster, Harbin Amusement Park, China
The Chinese name translates to ‘Steel Dragon Inverted Coaster,’ which means either their sign vendor screwed them or their translations department missed the mark by a mile.
Dizzy Love and Whirling Passion, Discoveryland, China
This name sounds vaguely dirty. However when you get off this coaster I’m quite certain you could be dizzy and also find yourself with a new passion of hating the ride.
Heaven on Earth, Xixiakou China, China
The same model coaster as the two above, this name couldn’t have gone in a more opposite direction. Though with the way some of these coasters are made in China, this might get you to heaven a little faster.
Superspeed Cool-Cool Bear, Beijing Amusement Park, China
Though sadly closed now, this ride wins the award as my favorite coaster name. As the words on the station building said, “Come on, Don’t hesitate!”
Can you think of something I missed? Be sure to comment and maybe I’ll do a ‘Part II’ a little later down the road.
On A Rail 